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To Whom It May Concern:
I have told you so many times how I feel,
This loss of memory is so real
I have told you of the pins and needles
And how sometimes I feel like a weasel.
I have told you of the weakness in my legs
And how they feel like someone else's pegs.
I have told you of my aches and pains
And you blame it on my weight gain.
I have told you of the pain in my eye
The reason for this you know not why
I have told you of the spasms and tremors
The shake in my hand that is causing murmurs.
I have told you of my terrible gait
And once again you blame my weight
I have told you of my problematic speech
And at this stage I feel like a leech
I have told you how I feel so tired
And to this earth I am not wired
I have told you all this for years, months and weeks
So many times now I can no longer speak
I have told you all this but not loudly enough
And unfortunately now the going is rough
I tell you again about the pain in my eye
And eventually you send me for an MRI
You wait for the results and when they come back
They look at them closely and tell you there's PLAQUE
What does this mean you hear yourself say
The silence is unbearable and again you say
What does this mean - it’s a terrible mess
The answer is blunt - YOU HAVE MS
So now you know the reasons why
The weakness in your legs, the pain in your eye
The terrible gait, the loss of balance
The tripping over, the awkward stance
The slurred speech, the stumbling words,
At least you know you are NOT FOR THE BIRDS
You have an answer, you are not mad,
Living with MS is not so bad
The symptoms you have- they are all real,
The neurologist gives you the usual spiel
"No two patients are alike
And this illness you will have to fight!"
The days ahead will bring symptoms galore
The pain with MS is no longer folklore
You have got your answer and you are quietly relieved
It’s not a tumour, as you had believed.
Like so many others you have waited for years
The answer has come and so have the tears.
It's easier to deal with, now that you know
And all you can do now - is go with the flow.
But now, you must get on with your life,
As someone's friend, gran, sister, mother or wife
Put on a smile, disregard the frown
Pick yourself up and dust yourself down.
You deal with the emotions tumbling around in your head
And try to digest all the info you have read
Your life will change there is no doubt
And to get things done you will have to shout
Your energy levels at times will deplete
And to get through some days will be an extraordinary fete.
But there will be good days without aches and pains
The physio, the therapist, the interferons.
The Counsellor, the helpline, the books, the net
The support from family and friends you have met
They all make it easier to understand with ease
That MS is not such a terrible disease
You have an answer and again you confess
You were quietly relieved it was MS
Elaine Dunne
22nd December, 2002
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